Are you aware that the didgeridoo poses a grave threat to the health of women everywhere? I wasn't, until I read a story posted to the front page of ABC News. According to an expert on the matter, though the effects vary, the least of these grave outcomes for a member of the female sex merely touching this musical instrument is infertility. Yes, you read that right: any female who so much as lays her pinkie finger on a didgeridoo is at risk of becoming infertile.
Why had we not been informed of this danger before? Why has such a grave threat to women's health not been subject to Parliamentary Inquiries and legislation restricting the sale and use of such a dangerous object? Have studies been conducted to determine if infertility clusters are the result of inappropriate didgeridoo use?
Probably because they would be bat-shit crazy responses to a bat-shit crazy idea. But that's just a guess. I could be wrong. There are plenty of bat-shit crazy ideas out there - like the one that states that a piece of bread is really the flesh of a 2000 year old corpse but eating said bread doesn't make you a cannibal. Insist that it really is just a piece of bread and people go mental. But I digress.
That anyone would seriously assert that a female touching a musical instrument is at risk of becoming infertile because it's a man's musical instrument is mind-boggling. That such a person would be treated with respect and be granted the gravitas of the title of 'expert' is just plain fucking ridiculous.
Fucking idiots, the lot of them.